There comes a time when one must grow up and “leave the nest”. Personally, I don’t consider myself a terribly mature person, seeing as I often find myself stressing out and dramatising minuscule episodes of my life, however, most recently, I found myself to be in the presence of a new friend who mirrored everything I worried about myself.
There were lots of times at which they would pour their hearts out about benign issues, worrying about whether they were “being liked”. To me, it wasn’t obvious that others in our group felt so strongly against their behaviour, but that probably stems from the fact that I’m so much like this person, and as such just found it as the norm. As a result of this, I do find myself heavily sympathising, but I also find it very hard to explain how I since realised the reality of the situation. I never had a moment of epiphany where everything suddenly clicked…it was more of a slow creeping in the back of my mind, that gradually caught my attention. To others, it may seem that a hard reality check might be the best way to “wake them up” but I don’t necessarily think this is the case. Rather, I think that this phase needs to be softly waited out, listened to, and slowly changed. Although this might mean that there may be a chance they may never change, there’s not really much else that I think should be done.
Speaking from my own experience, I always felt that I wasn’t being listened to; and in conversations with friends, I often zoned out when others talked about their problems, assuming that my problem was often more serious. I did try my best to pay attention and listen, but being a 16 year old brat, I just really couldn’t give a shit. Soon, I felt more and more distanced from my friends, I felt as though we were friends on the surface, but I really couldn’t connect with anyone on a level much deeper than talking about menial hobbies. Ofcourse, I do now realise that all of this was just in my head…and all I really needed to do was pay more attention. Now, I keep a much cooler head, and generally just try to keep everything lighter. There are still times when I struggle and fall into the same trap, in which case, I generally lock myself in and try and work things out myself.
I do thank my friends for sticking with me till now. Reading everything I just typed, I realise that much of it has little coherence but then again, it is hard to articulate emotions, whatever they may be.